Friday, May 24, 2013

Apocalypse Cow by Michael Logan

A book about zombie cows with Terry Pratchett's stamp of approval?! Yeah, you could say that Michael Logan's Apocalypse Cow one had me from the get go!

When livestock in the UK starts to literally bite back, everyone is screwed!

Terry thought his biggest problem was the constant smell of meat that lingered on him thanks to his job at McTavish & Sons, a slaughterhouse located just outside of Glasgow. But when the cows fight back one afternoon, Terry finds himself at the center of a massive conspiracy. He wakes after the event to find that he's survived but is now being held prisoner by one of the men behind the virus that's infected the beasts.

Geldof is one of those teens who can't seem to catch a break. On top of all the usual teen problems, his parents are weird - mom's a militant vegan and dad's a huge pot head who's rarely sober enough to know what's going on. Then Geldof narrowly escapes his own cow attack. Now the neighbors are holed up in his house with his own family trying to survive the cowpocalypse - awkward considering he's had a crush on his math teacher and neighbor for ages!

Lesley is a reporter who's just been sacked. Just before she goes, she lands a big scoop but before she can act, she too is taken prisoner by the same folks who've captured Terry. Together they manage to escape and also make their way to Geldof's family home, but they'll all have to survive long enough to break the story.

So it turns out it's not just the cows that these characters have to worry about. It's all the animals! There are dog attacks, swine attacks, even crazy squirrel attacks across the continent. And they aren't just super violent out to eat you attacks, turns out the virus kind of makes the animals horny. Yeah. This is another wildly inappropriately hilarious read.

If you're not a fan of gore, sick and twisted content, and jokes at the expense of just about everyone, then this is definitely not the book for you. If you do like those things, Apocalypse Cow should pretty much top your must read list! And given this is Logan's debut, I really can't wait to see what he does next.

Rating: 5/5

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